Winter Carp Fishing Perhaps?

Mmmm...probably not. That's a wind gauge in the upper right corner.

The Chocolate Cherry and Small Boobs

I have had several  requests to post the recipe for this pattern in my blog.  I had a request to also create a video showing how to tie the Carp Carrot along with the Chocolate Cherry.  I don't when  I will be able to do that but it is on my radar.   Here are some thoughts on this pattern along with how to tie it.

Let me begin by saying please that I can tie complicated flies; I enjoy tying complicated flies.  I particularly enjoy tying flies that catch fish.  When a complicated fly catches fish that's great; I savor tying it.  When a simple fly catches fish that's great too; I savor tying it.

I have tried a large variety of specific flies and types of patterns for Carp.  Some of those flies are complicated and some are simple.  Some don't work at all, some work moderately well, and some are consistent producers.

The thing about simple flies is that there is a certain degree of mistrust of them.  Almost as if, "it couldn't be that good if it ain't hard to tie."

This is a blog, I'm not writing to sell subscriptions; I'm writing because I enjoy it and because a few people seem to enjoy reading it.  That said, I am going to make a jump here.  I have written some things that are me playing around but I am serious about this next thing.  It might seem like am wandering but I'm really not.

If you are a heterosexual man and if you see a woman with big boobs, a lot of makeup, and a magazine kind of face, what would you think?  In particular, what would you think if she was standing next to a small breasted woman, with no makeup, and a face?   Well, what would you think?  If you could stare at them without being noticed who would you stare at?   Starin' ain't choosin' though now is it?  If you had a choice of being able to talk to one of them  who would you choose?  Why?  Kinda get you goin' a little to stare at them big boobs?  Maybe in your life you never had that choice and by that I mean you never had the opportunity to choose the perfect woman.   I mean the perfect woman with small boobs and little to no make up.  Did you think I meant you never had the opportunity to choose the big boobs?  HA!  I definitely did not!  There is plenty of opportunity to make that choice.  If you get the chance to make the choice, choose the small breasted woman with no makeup.  Yes, I am serious.   I'm tellin' you she'll surprise you over and over and over.  She's the best.

Simple flies are like small boobs; they're more erotic, they're the best.  I certainly wanted to get your attention, but again, yes I am serious, about the boobs and the flies.

The Chocolate Cherry and the Carp Carrot have been for me extremely effective Carp patterns; they are both simple flies.  If the Carrot and the Cherry were in a bin next to a "fly with big boobs" it is so easy to dismiss them.  You know, kind of like, "There's just not enough there..."  What can I say, some things take time to understand and appreciate.





 The Chocolate Cherry:

Thread:  Black
Hook:  Tiemco 5262 sizes 8 and 10
Weight:  Dumbbell eyes, sizes 1/8 and 5/32
Tail:  White round rubber
Body:  Medium brown chenille, size small or even fine
Hackle:  Grizzly saddle hackle dyed red.

A few other things about this fly:

I originally tied the fly without the rubber tail.  I almost always include the tail now.

The tail actually is two strands of the white rubber; the first one is just blocking the second one in the picture.  I cut one piece, fold it over to make it even, and then tie down over the fold.

The hackle is wrapped a good number of times so the color really shows up.  The fly ends up looking more red than brown.  The grizzly saddle hackle has become very difficult to find in shops.  Women are wearing the feathers in their hair.  Good grief...

Fishing the Chocolate Cherry:

I have not had as good of luck dropping this fly as I have had dropping the Carp Carrot, a Rubber Leg Hare's Ear or the SJW.  I don't have slightest idea why.  I have had the best results casting and stripping this fly onto the Carp's dinner plate.  I have also observed that a Carp cruising in the water column, as opposed to on the bottom, is more likely to pick this fly up than the Carrot and way more likely to pick it up than the SJW.  Again, I don't have any idea why.

This fly has become one of my "go to patterns".

Taking Carp for Granted

In the UK a "day ticket" water is private water where the angler pays to fish for the day.  A "syndicate" lake is where the angler buys a yearly membership.

Everywhere I fish for Carp is public water.  I plan to fish for Carp in three states this year.  I would pay if it was required but I don't have to as all of the water is public.

Today I received the following email from Bobby, a Carp angler in the UK:

Hi I am a carp fisherman from the uk and my sister inlaw lives in north wales Pennsylvania. I have been to visit her on several occasions and have been trying to find a day ticket water to use whilst on holiday if you could please help in anyway possible could you please email me thank you for your help.


I am becoming increasingly aware just how damn fortunate we are to be able to fish for Carp here in the United States. For FREE, for bloody FREE!!


  

Lessons from the Carp Lodge: Episode #3 is live

Episode #3 of Lessons from the Carp Lodge has been posted on YouTube.

Transitioning out of the close quarter, early season fishing for Carp seems to bring a problem for me every year. This episode shows the problem and the solutions.

This episode demonstrates when to set the hook by showing a Carp clearly moving to eat a real bug and then moving to eat the fake. I personally really like this particular segment because you can clearly see the fish make a decided move to snatch up a meal and do exactly the same thing to pick up the Chocolate Cherry.  No red arrows are needed at all.

You will see a Mirror Carp decide that I am ugly.  What can I say?...

Casting and stripping are the techniques used to get the fly on the Carp's dinner plate in this episode.

At the end of one of the narrative sections it looks like I don't know what to do next or like I forgot to get up.  That seems to happen to me more and more but as I take these videos I sit there a couple seconds at the beginning and the end so that if I add a transition it doesn't interrupt the narration.  I just sit there for a couple seconds and then get up and walk off camera.  That's my fly tying bench you will see.

You will also see me look down at me knee a couple times like I lost something or like I was falling asleep listening to myself.  I had a note card on my knee reminding me what part is next.  I just needed a quick prompt.

I received two emails asking about my fly, the Chocolate Cherry.  There is brief clip showing a whole "box of Chocolate Cherries".

Enjoy.

My Farting: An Outside Expert's Opinion

Very recently I made a blog post titled A Tale of Three Farts.  It was from a magazine article I published a few years ago. I said that the introduction may have been slightly exaggerated but all of the rest of the content was accurate and true.  The article speaks to how sensitive Carp are to noises.

This past Tuesday I had a colonoscopy.  At my age, 61,  this kind of screening is a good thing.  Preventive medicine you know.  I had my first one when I was 50.  Actually I was scheduled to have only a flexible sigmoidoscopy.  For a colonoscopy they insert the camera 4.5 feet.  Seriously.  For a flex sig I was told they only insert the camera about 1/3 of that distance.  I hate the anesthesia/sedative because it takes me a long time to wake up and  I am groggy all day so I elected to have the procedure without the sedative.  After the doc had reached the scheduled distance he asked me how I was doing.  I told him that this really wasn't fun at all.  He asked if he could go a little farther.  I told him, "Yes".  He asked me that several more times and eventually I had a colonoscopy without the sedative.  I decided that the next time I had this procedure I would have the sedative because like I said it just wasn't fun at all.  

To prepare for a colonoscopy you can't eat any solid food for about 36 hours.  You can eat Jello and clear liquid.  Oh, and one more thing.  You take a diuretic in the morning and another one in the afternoon.  Let me tell you, by the evening you have nothing left to give; I mean NOTHING.  I should mention that you get kind of dehydrated.  

I had another colonoscopy when I was 55 and my third one this week.  When they do the procedure they blow oxygen in your colon so they can see better.   They watch on a color monitor and give your pictures when you are finished.  Again, seriously.  I found myself thinking the first time that it was like Splash Mountain at Disneyland where they take your picture as you come down the last drop and then they offer it to you for $20 dollars or whatever it is.  At least with the colonoscopy they don't show you the pictures and then offer them to you for an extra charge.  Its' good to know the pictures are part of the package.  

After the procedure is finished they wheel you out into recovery.  You have to have someone drive you home.  Katy was waiting in recovery for me to wake up.  When you report for the procedure you are hungry and thirsty.  Remember I hadn't eaten for 36 hours and I had defecated (crapped) more than I thought was remotely possible even though this was my third time having the procedure.   

When you wake up the nurse has you roll over into the "farting position".  Again, I am serious.  Okay, I know that doesn't sound dignified to have the nurse say to you, "Okay, its time to get into the farting position."  But what is she going to say, "Its time to roll over so you can expel some rectal gas."  That would be ridiculous.  I suppose I could say, "Hey, you guys put oxygen in my colon and now I feel kind of bloated."  And then the nurse could say, "Yeah, so what...l blow it out your ass!"  Okay that wouldn't be good either.  So I think the middle ground is the best.  "It's time to roll over into the farting position" probably makes the most sense.  

What is the "farting position" you might be asking.  From experience I can tell you that they have you roll over on your left side.  You extend your left leg straight out and then pull your right knee up towards your chest.  I have to tell you it works.  I knew the routine so I got into farting position fairly quickly.  I was thirsty as heck and they won't give you water until you fart a few times.  

The nurse said, "Okay, good, you are in position.  Now go ahead and fart."  (You young readers will think I am making this up but I'm not.  You just wait.)  Then the nurse said, "I'll be right back; you go ahead and fart."  She went over to check on another patient.  Well I had two rounds chambered so I did what I was instructed to do.  And a damn fine job I did!  She came back and asked me if I had farted.  I said, "Yes, twice."  She said, "Was that you?"  I said, "Yes."  She said, "Can you do it again?"  I said, "Sure," and I proceeded to rip off three more particularly robust ones. She said, "Wow, you're good at this."  I looked at Katy and she just shook her head.  What was she going to say?  

I asked the nurse how many procedures they do in a day.  She said they usually do 10 in the morning and 10 in the afternoon.  Let's say the nurse only works one day a week.  That would be 20 per week and 80 per month.  Let's say she takes vacation.  That still means she rolls over 900 people into farting position per year.  And what if she does this a couple days a week?  Let's just stick with one day a week.  If she has just 5 or 6 years of experience she has heard somewhere in the vicinity of 5,000 people fart on command.  Let's say she has 10 or 15 years experience.  Dear God, how many people has she heard fart?  

I think it is safe to say that even conservatively that nurse has heard 5,000 different people fart on command; heck she may have heard 10 or 15 thousand.  I think that qualifies her as an farting expert of sorts.  And to think, she told me, "Wow, you're good at this."  It sort of makes me feel warm all over.  

Well, I think it is time to revise my commentary on my blog post, "A Tale of Three Farts."  The narrative is all true but I said the introduction was possibly slightly exaggerated.  Given the expert opinion rendered on my farting this past Tuesday I am now going to have to say now the whole darn thing is totally true.

I should add, no wonder the Carp swam away.   

Episode #3 is Coming Soon

I had hoped to have episode #3 of Lessons from the Carp Lodge published this week.  I didn't make it.  It is almost finished now.  I'm planning to finish it up, render it this weekend, and the post it to YouTube.  Episode #3 focuses on the transition from early season, close quarter fishing to some distance casting.  It shows some of the problems, well one anyway, that I have when I make the transition.  There is no pitching, plopping, or dropping in this episode.  It is only casting and stripping.  There is also some discussion of when to set the hook and video demonstrating it.  One segment has a Carp making a decided move to a real bug and then doing the exact same thing for the fake.  The Carp in this episode fall for the Chocolate Cherry.  Somewhere, I have a picture of a box of Chocolate Cherries; alas I am still looking for it.  I wanted to put it in the video. Episode #3 is  almost ready.